


Gold Bug

by RobinDabank



Category: POE Edgar Allan - Works
Genre: Colloquialisms, Gold Bug, Modern prose, Pirate Treasure, Pirates, Re-write, Short Story, Skeletons, beetles, skulls - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-17 09:13:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29222997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RobinDabank/pseuds/RobinDabank
Summary: The short story "Gold Bug" , a tale of madness, pirate treasure, and etymology by Edgar Allen Poe, except I've just paraphrased it, re-written it in a modern prose and cut out some of the TL:DR.





	Gold Bug

A while back I had this weird friend, Mr. William Legrand. He was from an old rich family, but they’d lost it all, so now he lives on an island, he’s kind of a hermit. It’s just him and his attendant Jupiter, who was more like a dad friend, lookin after him. I came across him, thinking he’d be a loon but we got to know each other and he’s actually pretty chill, a smart guy, so I visit sometimes.  
So this evening I rocked up to his hermit hut, its pretty cold out so I’m lookin in to sit by the fire, and knock at the door. Of all times for him to not be in, its today, but I know where he keeps the spare key so I let myself in and sit by the fire to wait for them to come home. I’m warming my hands when the man himself and Jupiter come home, looking real excited. 

“Dude! You’re here! I was gonna call for you in the morning, I have a cool thing to show you”

“Oh, cool. What is it?”

“Ah fuck, I lent it to the Lieutenant at the fort. Here, I’ll draw it for you”

He ransacks his desk looking for a bit of paper while Jupiter asks if I’m staying for dinner and puts some moor hens on to roast. Will pats himself down, finally finding a bit of crumpled old paper in his pockets and taking it back to the desk.

“You know how I study bugs? I collect them?”

I do know this. It’s part of the reason I thought he was a loon at first, he has quite a lot of bugs. Turns out he’s an amateur entomologist and actually knows his stuff though.  
“We were out and about, saw a cool old shipwreck, that was fun, but I found what I’m CONVINCED is a brand new type of beetle. It’s like, solid gold looking, got these weird big antennae. The thing bit me, but I discovered it so I think I get to name it, that’ll be cool…”  
He hands me the paper he’d been sketching on, and I take a look. Then the dog saunters in, it’s a newfoundland and I love him, he’s cute. I put off looking at the paper to give him a pet because he’s a good boy, and then check out this new bug Will’s discovered. Yup, that’s a beetle. It kinda looks like a skull with the pattern of black blobs on its back, pretty metal. Don’t see the antennae though, and Will was adamant it was a prominent feature. It’s more like a bunch of random lines coming out of the middle than anything distinct. 

“Your drawing is shit” I say, handing it back

“It is NOT shit I’m great at drawing!” He huffs. He looks at his picture again, to refresh his memory of its shittiness no doubt, checking the paper front and back. He pauses a moment, put the paper on his desk and starts examining it real close. I pay him no mind because Jupiter gives us a shout that dinner’s done and I’m starving. 

I sit down to eat, Jupiter is a good cook, and we both watch Will as he folds up the paper, puts it in his wallet then locks it in his desk drawer. Okay, Weird. Maybe I really hit his ego with the drawing thing about the emo bug. After dinner I call it a night and head home, Will seems distracted and he’s no craic as is.

Time goes by and it’s been about a month since that night, and I’m leaving my office when I see my man Jupiter waiting outside my door. 

“Hey Jup, what’s happening? How’s Will doing?”

“I’ll tell you the truth my dude, William’s not well.”

“Aw no! What’s the matter with him?”

“It’s some kinda sickness, he’s got it bad.”

“Damn, is he stuck in bed? Has he seen a doctor about it?”

“No, its not that kinda sick, more like, sick in the head? I’m worried about him bro. He’s been wandering around, staring at the ground not looking where he’s going, when he IS home he’s scribbling nonsense on anything he can get his hands on. So I start keeping an eye on him, and that’s when he decided to sneak out at the crack of dawn to give me the slip! The cheek of him! I had half a mind to get the stick to him for worrying me like that, he was gone the whole day.”

“Oh man, that sounds worrying but you don’t have to hit him bro…”

“Listen, this all started the day you were last here. Remember that bug? I think it was the bug. The thing bit him and he’s gone doolally.” Jupiter states, looking me in the eye, gravely serious.

“That seems unlikely Jup, why do you suspect the bug? Maybe it’s a fever or something…”

“No man, the thing bit him when we found it, so I find some scrap paper and pick it up with that, wrap it up and he carried it home. We got it back from the Lieutenant the next day and he’s guarding the thing like a feral dog since, and he’s talking in his sleep about the “gold bug”. It’s weird. Look, Will asked me to give this to you, but I want you to come over and check on him for me too, I need a second opinion.”

Jupiter hands me a note form the man himself,  
My DEAR --

Why have I not seen you for so long a time? I hope you have not been so foolish as to take offence at any little brusquerie of mine; but no, that is improbable.

Since I saw you I have had great cause for anxiety. I have something to tell you, yet scarcely know how to tell it, or whether I should tell it at all.

I have not been quite well for some days past, and poor old Jup annoys me, almost beyond endurance, by his well-meant attentions. Would you believe it? --he had prepared a huge stick, the other day, with which to chastise me for giving him the slip, and spending the day, solus, among the hills on the main land. I verily believe that my ill looks alone saved me a flogging.

I have made no addition to my cabinet since we met.

If you can, in any way, make it convenient, come over with Jupiter. Do come. I wish to see you tonight, upon business of importance. I assure you that it is of the highest importance.

Ever yours,

WILLIAM LEGRAND.

Yeah, that’s weird. Why’s Will writing like that? Okay, lets go check on him. Jupiter leads me to the boat, and I cant help but notice the new gardening equipment. Three shovels, and a big ol’ scythe.

“Jupiter, you guys don’t have a garden. Your house is on the edge of the sand.”

“Yeah, William insisted I go buy them though. Bug madness.”

Okay. I’ll ask him his reasoning later, meanwhile we set off on the boat to their island. Well, almost island. Its separated by a creek big enough to be a bother to cross. I’m not swimming it, y’know? When we reach the hut I spot Will there, waiting for us. 

“I sent for you!” he calls out, all grand and important, “I sent for you that I might have your counsel and assistance in furthering the news of fate and of the bug…”

I glance to the side at Jupiter, who looks even more worried. Okay, so he’s gotten worse since he left…

“Legrand what the fuck. Go inside, I’m gonna get some meds for you” I tell him, Jupiter seems ready to agree.

“No, no, I’m fine, check the pulse, it’s grand,” he waves away our concerns. “It’s because I’m excited, and only solving the source of the excitement will make me better! I NEED you bro, you and Jup are the only ones I can trust.”

I think I read once that you should go along with a person’s delusions, and hope they sort of ride it out, so I agree with him and hope it doesn’t last long. It was either that or let him go running into the forest with a bunch of tools and… is that the bug on a string? Yup. He’s tied a string around the midsection of a gold looking beetle and he’s dangling it like a pendulum. So the three of us set off. Him at the front, swinging the beetle like he’s dowsing with it, then Jupiter who’s taken the tools, probably because he wont trust Will with anything sharp for a while, and my following up with some other hiking supplies. We walk pretty deep into the undergrowth, Jupiter using the scythe to carve a path when we go off the beaten trail, and come upon a bigass tulip tree. William comes to a stop at its base, and having walked a circle around it, inspecting it closely, turns to Jupiter. 

“You’re good at climbing, right?”

Jupiter looks at Will. He looks up the tree, seeing it stretch beyond the canopy. He sighs, and I see the long suffering face of a man whose just about done with this shit.

“Aye. You want me to climb this?”

Will nods and gives him the bug, string and all. “You’ll need this.” Jupiter looks reluctant to take it, I’m pretty sure he’s convinced the thing is cursed, and he pinched the string and holds it as far away from himself as he can. Will smiles, sending him off on his vertical adventure with a “Stick to the north side, and get as high up as you can”

We watch from the ground as he climbs up and up, and just beyond where the trees foliage hides him from view he shouts down-

“Okay, now what?”

“How many branches up are you Jup?” Will shouts back.

“Six”

“Go up another” He yells

“Heck no, the next one is dead looking.”

William looks perturbed by this. Really? Everything so far and THIS is what worries you? 

“It can’t be dead check again.”

“It’s dead William it won’t hold me”

“Try stabbing it to check if the inside is dead. Look, you NEED to check the end of that branch Jupiter”

“I NEED to not fall out of this huge ass tree.”

“I’ll give you a hundred bucks.”

There’s a pause and I think I can hear the man considering the dare. 

“Fine, but if I fall its on you.” More shuffling, and Jupiter follows up with “Lads, there’s a skull up here.”

I look over at Will, whose fist pumping and chanting “YES YES YES” at hearing there’s apparently a corpse in this tree he’s sent his defacto guardian up. What the fuck? Is that a skull detecting beetle?

“How’s it attached Jup?” Will yells up.

“Its nailed onto the end of the branch. Like, face up? The thing’s looking at me. I don’t like it.” 

“Put the bug in it’s left eye socket.” 

“What?”

“Like, put the bug in its left eye and dangle it by the string.” He clarifies, like it’s what he should naturally have assumed was to be done. There’s some rustling from above and we see the shine of the bug poking back through the leaves. “Okay, Drop it!” Will yells again, marking the spot the bug falls with a metal peg. He then busies himself with a compass and measuring tape, walking some distance away and drawing a large circle in the ground. 

“Can I come down now?” Jupiter shouts back. 

Being rejoined by an exasperated Jupiter, we’re onto our next mission, which is apparently digging. I should have seen this coming, there were three shovels, one for each of us. He brought me along to help dig, and this was very much a pre meditated plan. It takes two hours of manual labour which I am NOT accustomed to and have no desire to BECOME accustomed to, when Will stops dead in his tracks, eyes wide and short of breath from the exertion of digging. 

“Jupes, my man, you did do the left eye, right?”

“Willaim I know my right from my left” Jupiter snarks back, pausing to lean on his own shovel. 

“Yeah, but the SKULLS left, or YOUR left?”

“I put the bug in this eye” Jupiter stated, pointing to his own left eye, which on a skull facing him, would be the right. Will hops out of our freshly dug pit and scampers back to the peg we placed where the gold bug fell and moves it a few inches to the left and begins his nonsensical calculations over again. I don’t know what he’s thinking, but I have a feeling it’s going to end in more digging for us. Another circle drawn and my prediction is true, as we resume excavating the ground a few feet from our first attempt. It takes a while, but this spot is more fruitful, and we dig up something. Two skeletons. Yup, skull detecting beetle. What the fuck.

“No, NO keep going it MUST be here” I hear Will urge, resuming his work with a renewed vigour. Just as I’m revisiting the ‘death detector bug bite has maybe made him a little crazy’ theory, I stumble on an iron ring I’d all but unearthed. We clear it off, and its one of six rings, which together are designed as handles of a MASSIVE nautical style chest. I turn to William in disbelief. He grins, and pries the lid of the chest open with the blade of his shovel. The thing is full to the brim with gold and jewels. Jupiter sticks a hand in, brushing aside the top layers to see if it really is treasure all the way to the bottom. It is. 

“Okay, maybe the gold bug isn’t an evil kind of curse.” He mumbles. This thing is heavy, so heavy even with the handles we wont be able to pry the whole chest out of the ground. It’s gonna take a couple of trips back and forth to carry all this. It’s also getting dark, so we take about two thirds which we can carry and head back to their house. That night, naturally, I needed an explanation. 

“William, my friend,” I say, clearing my throat as I took my favoured seat by the fire, “What the heck?”

He shoots me a wicked grin, swinging the gold bug from its string which he’s wove between his fingers, and calls Jupiter over to hear the whole story as well.

“Right, remember that night? When we found this lil guy?” He says, gesturing to the beetle he’s treating like a conker. “That paper I drew the beetle on. We found that by the same shipwreck we found the beetle, Jupes was a wuss and didn’t wanna touch it. Anyway, we gave the bug to the fort but kept the paper, because the lieutenant WASN’T afraid of a little bug, and then YOU!” He pointed to me.

“What did I do?” My eyes widen, taken aback. Is he still pissed I said his drawing was shitty?

“You were by the fire, and you waved the paper around when the dog came in. Near burnt the thig, I was worried you’d drop it in the fire, but then you handed it back to me and it was Different. My drawing WASN’T BAD, you just waved it over the heat, and activated some invisible ink.” My jaw drops. I’d accuse him of making all this up if we hadn’t just dug up a buried treasure together. “So I look at it again and this PREVIOUSLY BLANK parchment has some weird lines on it now. That’s a puzzle I’m sure as heck gonna solve so I put it away for later. When I go back to it that night and heat it up evenly, I see a skull on a map, right where we found skully here” he says, gesturing to the gold beetle, with the skull shaped pattern on its back “And the parchment. There’s a crude map of the shoreline, a message written in code, and its signed… with a goat.” He’s been heating the parchment from that day over a candle flame, the bottom right where one would usually pen their signature. From the previously blank space, a drawing of a young goat fades into existence. “More specifically, a Kid.”

“I doubt a goat made this map.” I snark at him. 

“It’s a joke dumbass, a Kid, like Captain Kidd. The pirate. He wrote this cypher to hide his treasure, and he killed the guys who helped him hide it so only he’d ever be able to find it.”

“The skeletons we found?” Jupiter gasps, to which William nods.

“Yeah, probably. Anyway, the cipher LOOKS bad but Kidd was a sailor, not a scholar so I figured I’d be able to crack it.” Will spreads some papers in front of us, filled with letters, numbers and symbols. They all seem to derive from and iterate on this first sequence, no doubt copied from the parchment;

53‡‡†305))6*;4826)4‡.)4‡);80  
6*;48†8¶60))85;1‡(;:‡*8†83(88)  
5*†;46(;88*96*?;8)*‡(;485);5*†  
2:*‡(;4956*2(5*-4)8¶8*;40692  
85);)6†8)4‡‡;1(‡9;48081;8:8‡1  
;48†85;4)485†528806*81(‡9;48  
;(88;4(‡?34;48)4‡;161;:188;‡?;

“It took a while, but I solved it. It says 'A good glass in the bishop's hostel in the devil's seat forty-one degrees and thirteen minutes northeast and by north main branch seventh limb east side shoot from the left eye of the death's-head a bee line from the tree through the shot fifty feet out.'” Will explained, looking smug. Jupiter and I are looking no doubt awestruck.  
“It took a while and some digging but I found an old lady who knew the history of the place and remembered a spot called Bessop’s Castle on the mainland, it’s a high up spot that looks right onto this island. Glass has GOT to mean telescope, that’s what sailors call them, so I grabbed mine and checked to coordinates against the horizon and found our tree. You know the rest.”

Jupiter took a step back, reading the deciphered riddle again, and his brow furrows. “Okay, this explains the crazy writing and the wandering, but what’s the deal with the beetle? And the weird talk?”

“Oh, I noticed you thinking I’d lost my mind so I just wanted to play along with it. It was funny. And the riddle probably means drop a bullet casing through the skull but I don’t have a gun, but I DO have a cool bug so I figured, lets use that. Ol’ Captain Kidd must’ve like his poetic symbolism, using a Jolly Rodger skull to hide his pirate treasure.” Will flourishes, ending his saga with a mischievous wink. Jupiter more than deserves his third of the treasure for putting up with this man, I think, my own smile spreading despite myself.


End file.
